The Secret to Being Persuasive

The secret to persuasion is confidence, thoughtfulness, patience, tone, body language, objection handling, and timeliness. Read or watch the work of the masters like Robert Cialdini, Jordon BelfortChris Voss (Or the excellent master class). Persuasion is a process. Persuasion is presuasion. Set up the premise ahead of time before even asking. Persuasion is influence. Persuasion is invoking consistency.

Practice Persuasion

Persuasion is a skill that you can build via daily practice. At first, you will fumble. People will think to themselves something is awkward and unnatural about this. You can overcome this in time and practice. Do it with low-stakes activities.

Pass the Gatekeeper via a thorough accusation audit of all possible problems with your plan

I asked my company to pay for a Reforge subscription. $2000. Sounds like a lot of money, right? I’m leading a multi-million dollar project. If I apply the information from the course to the success of my project, then it pays for itself. When I found this training, I asked Reforge to provide a template for how to ask. Reforge equipped me with a boilerplate template that I tweaked to cater to how it benefits my company and team. It also answered questions my boss might have about the time commitment.

Clarity on why you want what you want

Finally, persuasion is about relentless patience and persistence in pursuing clarity of what you want and why you want it. Understand the other side’s perspective. It might be out of their control, the wrong time, or other factors. Wait and bring it up again. There is no harm in asking for what you want. Jay Shetty writes in “Think Like a Monk” that we ask for things without clarity on what we truly want. All I ask of you before you start persuading others is that what you ask for is in line with your motivations. What’s the point of persuading others to give you more of something that will not make you happy?


Start persuading with low-stakes activities every day. An easy tip I heard from Brandon Voss is to ask for hotel upgrades. ‘I’m about to make your day difficult. How impossible would it be to get an upgrade?’ Empathize with other’s positions before making a request.

  • Persuasion is a learnable skill you need to practice daily
  • Practice in a variety of situations using different persuasive tools
  • Understand why you want what you want because you might persuade others and still be unhappy